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Aktuelle Bewertung: 5  (1 Bewertung)
The Captain called the Sergeant in.
- Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private Jones' mother died yesterday. Better go tell him and send him in to see me.
So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation and lines up all the troops.
- Listen up, men,
says the Sergeant.
- Johnson, report to the mess hall for KP. Smith, report to Personnel to sign some papers. The rest of you men report to the Motor Pool for maintenance. Oh by the way, Jones, your mother died, report to the commander.
Later that day the Captain called the Sergeant into his office.
- Hey, Sarge, that was a pretty cold way to inform Jones his mother died. Couldn't you be a bit more tactful, next time?
- Yes, sir,
answered the Sarge.
A few months later, the Captain called the Sergeant in again with:
- Sarge, I just got a telegram that Private McGrath's mother died. You'd better go tell him and send him in to see me. This time be more tactful.
So the Sergeant calls for his morning formation.
- Ok, men, fall in and listen up. Everybody with a mother, take two steps forward. Not so fast, McGrath!
Von: esiu

Aktuelle Bewertung: -
An Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass.
The CO says:
- Are you crazy? You just join the Israeli army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition!
So the soldier comes back a day later in an Arab tank!
The CO was so impressed, he asked:
- How did you do it?
- Well, I jumped in a tank, and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass?" So we exchanged tanks!
Von: esiu

Aktuelle Bewertung: -
The soldier serving in Hong Kong was annoyed and upset when his girl wrote breaking off their engagement and asking for her photograph back.
He went out and collected from his friends all the unwanted photographs of women that he could find, bundled them all together and sent them back with a note saying, "I regret to inform you that I cannot remember which one is you -- please keep your photo and return the others."
Von: esiu

Aktuelle Bewertung: -
During the Persian Gulf War, I was assigned to go to Saudi Arabia. As I was saying good-bye to my family, my three-year-old son, Christopher, was holding on to my leg and pleading with me not to leave.
- "No, Daddy, please don't go!" he kept repeating.
We were beginning to make a scene when my wife, desperate to calm him, said:
- "Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza."
Immediately, Christopher loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a calm voice said
- "Bye, Daddy."
Von: esiu

Aktuelle Bewertung: -
An F-111 was flying escort with a B-52 and generally making a nuisance of himself by flying rolls around the lumbering old bomber.
The message for the B-52 crew was:
- "Anything you can do, I can do better."
Not to be outdone, the bomber pilot announced that he would rise to the challenge.
The B-52 continued its flight, straight and level, however.
Perplexed, the fighter pilot asked:
- "So? What did you do?"
- "We just shut down two engines."
Von: esiu

Aktuelle Bewertung: -
A lawyer was on his cell phone, calling a locksmith.

"I locked my keys in my sports car!" said the nervous lawyer.

"No problem, I should be there in about an hour," replied the locksmith.

"Do you think you can make it a little sooner?" pleaded the lawyer. "My top is down and it's starting to rain."
Von: esiu

Aktuelle Bewertung: -
Q: Hear about the terrorist that hijacked a 747 full of lawyers?
A: He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met.
Von: esiu

Aktuelle Bewertung: -
A lawyer is standing in a long line at the box office. Suddenly, he feels a pair of hands kneading his shoulders, back, and neck. The lawyer turns around.
- What the hell do you think you're doing?
- I'm a chiropractor, and I'm just keeping in practice while I'm waiting in line.
- Well, I'm a lawyer, but you don't see me screwing the guy in front of me, do you?
Von: esiu

Aktuelle Bewertung: -
There was a lawyer and he was just waking up from anesthesia after surgery, and his wife was sitting by his side. His eyes fluttered open and he said,
- You're beautiful!
and then he fell asleep again. His wife had never heard him say that so she stayed by his side. A couple minutes later his eyes fluttered open and he said:
- You're cute!
Well, the wife was dissapointed because instead of "beautiful" it was "cute". She said:
- What happened to "beautiful"? His reply was:
- The drugs are wearing off!
Von: esiu

Aktuelle Bewertung: -
What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a pig?
Nothing. There are some things even a pig won't do!
Von: esiu

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